Our Wonderfully Made

Originally, whenever I was asked about anything related to Baby Shower plans, I would stop my sister in her tracks, and not be able to “go there”. I was still living in so much fear that if I spoke of, and even more daringly, got excited for a Baby Shower, sure enough we would lose this babe too. I imagined returning the gifts, feeling guilty that people spent their money for a baby that did not come, and weeping into a baby blanket purchased for this little one. I know, it sounds morbid. And depressing, and horrible. But this is the truth for some women, and it breaks my heart to know this. I cannot imagine the pain of these very real moments, and understand that of course we are not exempt from this possibility, for nothing is a guarantee. I was living in fear and didn’t even want to think of a Baby Shower until after the baby was born.

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But then, I slowly started changing my attitude, rooting my faith in God more and more, and trusting in his ways. I started living in joy for each moment that we do have with this babe. Because really, tomorrow is not guaranteed for any of us. Something could happen tomorrow, and that is just the fragile beauty and brokenness of this life. I realized that I was being so unfair to my little boy. Doesn’t mean it’s always easy – but boy is it so much better to choose joy over fear! This babe deserves to be celebrated because the fact is, TODAY he is here with us… TODAY he is growing, and kicking, and alive. And even if the worst nightmare comes true, does that mean that celebrating him while he is here with us is a waste? Would I not wish I celebrated every single moment with him? He is being knit in my womb, and is fearfully, and wonderfully made, and goodness do I love him!! He has already captured my heart forever, and I will never regret soaking in a day all about him.

So, when I was ready, I told my sister that a Baby Shower before this boy comes into the world, would be a great way to celebrate the TODAY.

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Due to not quite being ready to think about a Baby Shower, or not believing it was real, I found myself three days before the shower, with nothing to wear. There is not much that fits the bump these days, and especially nothing that would make me feel confident walking into a room to celebrate this babe haha. So, I found myself scouring the web, realizing that most online maternity stores ship from the States, and the likelihood of getting ANYTHING in time for the weekend was quite slim.

But goodness, Pink Blush Maternity pulled through, and my Wednesday evening order of a maternity crop top and tulle skirt, legit arrived to my doorstep that Friday morning (from California to boot!). It felt that much more special to wear something I felt comfortable in, to celebrate on this special day. I had another opportunity to wear this special outfit again, for our maternity shoot a week later!

Here are some pics from the shoot, wearing this outfit (you can find the tulle skirt here)!

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Photos by the ever-so-talented, Monique Pantel. 

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My wonderful female tribe made up of my sisters, Kristin and Chelsea (with help from my one day sister-in-law, Kari!), my mamas, Angie and Kathy, and forever friend, Lala, came together to throw us such a beautiful day in celebration of Baby Leskiw.

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We held the shower at our church, Riverwood, in an old firehall-turned meeting place, in the heart of our city. I loved the atmosphere not only because it was open, minimal, and historic, but also because it holds a special place in my heart, as a church we found home in almost 4 years ago (and also around the time our journey to this rainbow babe began). The room was full of yummy treats, and special desserts that the girls made to suit my dietary restrictions. I wish I had a photo of the cakes! We had a dark chocolate torte (gluten/dairy/and soy free!!) made by Lala and accompanied by coconut whipping creme 😍, and a key lime avocado pie with a pecan dressing made by Kristin. Like, c’mon… how sweet is that!! 😉

My little sis Chelsea made the cutest little baby carriage out of watermelon and fruit, with an extra gift for our real babe inside (a Natursutten pacifier! ☺). Veggies for days, with my fav Mary’s crackers and hummus of course, fruit everywhere, and some sandwiches for those friends of mine who just love their gluten 😉.

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Our church also runs a full-fledged Cafe (and I’m not talking stereotypical bad coffee and weak juice lol), and my generous family opened the cafe to all guests, for all the lattes and cappuccinos their hearts desired. Dennis from Station 8 Cafe (of course they have their own brand!) was slinging London Fogs, Almond Milk Lattes, and Mochas, left right and center. (I opted to treat myself to a Decaf Almond Latte which was heavenly 😍). As a retired Starbucks barista myself, and current volunteer for our church cafe, I found this was such a sweet touch, and so fitting! Something about a hot cup in hand while meeting new friends, brings a room of people together.

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What really spoke to me the most, and is something that gets me teary-eyed just thinking of, was the “Birthing Bead Station”. While reading one of my birthing books a few months back, Birthing From Within, I came across the most beautiful idea for a group of women to, in some way, support another woman through labour. The simple idea was for each woman to bring one bead to the shower to leave behind, that would then be strung on a necklace. This necklace would symbolize the community and strength of the women closest to me, to be worn during labour as a reminder of all the women before me who have birthed, and those who are cheering us on along the way. That there is a tribe of women praying for us, lifting us up, and wishing us all the best throughout this labour.

Of course my sister couldn’t just take a simple idea and leave it at that… So, she reached out to two of our wonderfully talented co-workers, (we work at a Marketing Agency owned by our Dad – Q-Power Communications), Steph and Carolyn, to help her put together an enhanced version of this idea. Between the three of them, came this beautiful concept and design to have a “station” set up where everyone who wished to be part of this project, could not just drop a bead in a bucket, but share why they chose that particular bead, and what it meant to them, and also for me. These cards were the most beautifully designed (soft rainbow themed) pieces, which were made that much more special with the words inked on each blank canvas.

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It was so meaningful and emotional for me to read each and every card, with bead attached, to soak in the love and encouragement found there. Now when I wear this necklace (yet to be strung!), each bead will hold a special story, a hope, a comfort, and strength. Thank you to each and every one of you who gifted me a bead, and a piece of your heart. I will treasure these cards, and this birthing necklace for many years to come. I look forward to the day when I can show our little boy this necklace, and teach him the importance of community, doing my best to show him just how loved he is and was even before he came into this world.

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The Q-Power girls also put together these fun little cards that were on the table for people to guess the weight, name, date of arrival of our baby boy, along with some words of wisdom. If anyone guesses correctly, I’ll post here and let you know! 😉

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Perhaps my favourite part of the shower was being able to connect with each and every woman in the room, looking them in the eye, and truly thanking them for being there. For anyone who knows me, you know I LOVE get togethers, mingling in a crowd, and having real conversations. We were spoiled beyond comprehension with gifts, but it was truly the sincere love in the room that got me all choked up. When the gifting came to a close and it was time for me to say some words (which typically comes quite naturally to me!), I froze. I tried to speak, to convey even the slightest bit of my gratitude to these women all looking up at me, and tears started coming down. I couldn’t speak for what felt like forever, and when I finally could form some words, it was really the meekest thank you I could muster. Everyone was so sweet about it, and I hope understood that there simply are no words to express our gratitude, and how much that day, and every day of support we have received means to us both.

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We are also gratefully aware of how fortunate we are to have such a loving and supportive community to wrap their arms around us as we prepare for our baby boy. It does not pass me by that not everyone has this support throughout pregnancy, or post birth. It is something we continually thank God for, and do not take for granted. I wish everyone could feel this kind of love – as they should! If you are someone who is doing this alone, or without a supportive community, please know how loved you truly are, even if some days it seems as if no one is there. You are amazingly strong, and capable of doing this!

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Thank you for sharing in our joy and being part of our story. The support received through this blog, and social media has been an amazing source of comfort for me, and I can only hope to reciprocate that back in some small way.

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Xoxo,

Kayla